Hi Reddit. Try to build some self-compassion. This post has been thanked 2 times. Real event is one of the most common ocd themes. And worst of all, I have been hiding it from her for two years. Real event OCD regrets is it the same as intrusive thinking. It conjures up memories of something that you did which was “bad” and plays this memory over and over in your head. Ways of thinking that helped me: realise that I had this image of my relationship needing to be “pure”. Wanted to ask for some help/insight/guidance as real event OCD and rumination is dominating my whole life. I stopped using this fake profile and deleted all accounts/chats/photos in September. Is it just my OCD saying that I don't feel like I should be allowed to 'get away with it' as I need to be punished? Real event / cheating OCD. Hope this helped! Real event OCD, petrified of being arrested So it's hardly something I'm proud of, but when I was a teenager I had something of a hentai phase and a few times I looked at loli/shota. There’s still wrong been caused by actions even if the people didn’t realise they were being catfished. Abbreviated backstory: Basically my Real event OCD came because of the guilt i acquired from two indiscretions in my relationship (i made out with two people who were not my partner). Check them out! A couple of weeks later i talked to my now girlfriend about 'where we were' and she stated that she just wanted to keep things casual, not put any labels on it, and 'keep the status quo'. Because I was consuming all of this human waste, I … https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines. US: 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741, Non-US: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines. 14 February 2018 - 14:36. I feel like the only way I can overcome this is by coming clean to her, but I can't bear the thought of hurting her (another of my OCD themes from the past) or ruining what we have. Right now it feels like even attempting to be compassionate with myself is taking away from what I did. If this is ocd I can talk to my therapist but if this isn’t ocd what do I do? Join date: May 2016. And no I've never gotten past it. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The good news, however, is the treatment is the same no matter what type of OCD you have. It’s horrendous! Thanks: 2. Things got pretty serious in the months after this but she reaffirmed in March-ish 2019 that she still didn't want to be in an official relationship. Thank you for this reply, some very helpful concepts here. I can’t tell if the level of guilt I’m feeling is real event ocd or if this just what I deserve to be feeling. OCD can also be triggered by a traumatic event, and there’s likely to be a genetic component, too. Re: Possible Real Event OCD and Crushing Guilt by throwaway5487 » Sat Dec 24, 2016 3:29 pm So, the way I should see this is that a normal response to this would be "wow, that's a really uncomfortable memory of a time where I did something gross and totally inappropriate. I’m just very confused as to whether the level of guilt is created by real event ocd, reassurance seeking: what I’m doing right now and seeking out support from my counsellor and therapist, Rumination: thinking constantly about everything even minutely related to this, Obsession with confessing or the idea of confessing, Feeling guilty for not feeling guilty about this. Hope you enjoy! Relationships are not black and white, and you were certainly in a grey area with your situation. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Hi . The length of time between the event occurring and the start of the intrusive thoughts is no indicator that the thoughts are true. I just wanted someone else's thoughts on this. Of course. I am in my early 20s, I am gay and was raised very Christian. Cancel culture and all that is massively triggering and is "in vogue" at the moment so it's very toxic environment for ocd sufferers with this theme. I've since learnt that possession of it is illegal in my country (UK) and my OCD has me convinced that I'm going to be arrested and listed as a sex offender and my life will be ruined. But that all changed two weeks ago. I was bullied in high school because of being gay. Please help. Everything was perfect, and I've never done anything that could remotely be considered since. Me included. In general, I just don’t know if this ocd. But the guilt and realisation of what I was doing really hit in late October and has been severe since then. He did help me, but it was clear he didn’t know how to fully treat these kinds of thoughts. i don't know if i can accept not thinking about it without feeling bad. Relationship OCD symptoms sometimes intensify when relationships undergo transitions. I am obsessed with the fact that I might have cheated on my girlfriend, and I can't live with the guilt. Do you have any tips on how to build self-compassion? I’ve been suicidal over this and it’s really made me question a lot of things about myself. Forum User. I blocked everyone very quickly - often after a few hours, the longest was probably around a week. A requested video from the comments section of an older vid about real event OCD. Join date: May 2016. Distract. Real Event OCD? I was into her from the start and to me, it felt quite intimate and I never had eyes for anyone else. My obsession right now is of a real event. I know I can’t change the past, but I want to be better in the future and not behave like this again. I can’t tell if the level of guilt I’m feeling is real event ocd or if this just what I deserve to be feeling. Sure I regretted doing it as I really didn't understand why I did it, it's not the sort of thing I intended or even wanted to do, but I wasn't technically in a relationship. I used the fake profiles because I didn’t want to be found out as gay or have my face connected to my nudes. So I've been locked in a cycle of anxiety, googling for advice and reassurance for days now, the guilt is overwhelming me. It's OCD, 100%. I feel sick. It's like a constant circle of negativity and low self-esteem. Instead, react with indifference and allow the thoughts to just be there. There are so many variations of OCD: hit-and-run OCD, harm OCD, and real event OCD, to name a few. TL;DR - memories that I drunkenly kissed someone else in the early stages of a then-as-yet unofficial relationship - now feeling extreme guilt and obsessions + compulsions to confess. Join date: Jan 2018. I can't get the thought out of my mind that this wasn't ok and I've been a terrible person by not owning up to this mistake. Hi Reddit. Learn more about relationship OCD symptoms and treatment. Hey guys, I’m Kevin, I’m 23 years old and I’m suffering from OCD. It is such a grey area (OCD latches on to these) and a topic that is so emotionally charged and guilt-ridden that it just dominates. It tears me up inside and I can't let go of these thoughts at all. New to forum and I had a unstable upbringing which has left me with some memories of things that happens to be and the silly things I regret doing as a young lad. Actions do not affect your value as a person. I suffer from OCD symptoms and have been diagnosed with anxiety. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! The idea that someone has been hurt by my actions is very troubling to me and I wish I could back and stop myself from behaving in this way. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Is this my OCD blowing things out of proportion or have I really f**ked up and need to come clean? I’ll start therapy next month. I am completely in love with her and we have been in a relationship since May 2019. I am relieved but it doesnt help much, its just nice to be able to specifically know what i am suffering from. Usually several posts a day on here about it. Something that happened about 6 years ago which at the time I didn't think twice about. The therapist is there to help you untangle and alleviate any worries you may have. I didn't tell anyone apart from one of my friends on the holiday who said 'I didn't see anything happen'. That even if explicit cheating has occurred, many relationships can and do survive! Then, in October 2018 I was on holiday with some friends when 'the incident' happened. I can't remember what they looked like, or how it even happened, but this memory is seated into my brain. Location: Midlands. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. Even if you cheated in your relationship right now, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Step 2: Do not react to any of the Cheating OCD thoughts with fear. Am I using OCD as an excuse or do I deserve the guilt/shame that I'm feeling? But he didn’t know what else to do, and ultimately my first round of therapy sputtered out. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Press J to jump to the feed. I realise this might sound like I'm searching for reassurance and I know that's counter productive, but I just felt like I needed to get my thoughts down on paper (so to speak) and try and work out how the hell I go forward. I have a good group of supportive friends. What does accountability look like for someone in my shoes - what is the right thing to do. 18 May 2016 - 18:58 . I can’t tell you how to deal with it in relation to talking your partner, but I would seek help if you haven’t already. This post has been thanked 3 times. The next morning I remembered it and acknowledged it had happened but for some reason at the time, I didn't feel guilty. Even though I didn’t blackmail or share the nudes/chats anywhere, I feel disgusting and deeply regret that I’ve lied to people to even have those conversations in the first place. I can't let go of my shame. Hi, The past 6 months I’ve had extreme cheating ocd, so I can totally relate to what you’re going through. But I feel like I need punishment and like I don’t deserve a second chance at being a good person. However, OCD treatment is difficult, and that is one of the main reasons some stay away from treatment. The justification that I 'got away with it' because we weren't in an official relationship just isn't holding up anymore. A subreddit dedicated to discussion, articles, and images regarding OCD. I never intended to cause harm or violate anyone - but I now know that’s exactly what I’ve done since the harm was in my lying and deceiving. OCD reached a whole new level recently. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I’m trying to stop watching porn and have been reconnecting with my Christian faith. Cheating OCD often comes about after a night of drinking. Since I stopped using the fake profile I’ve been seeing a therapist (for CBT and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, to help with my OCD/Anxiety and to help me act on my values not my fears) and a counsellor too. A 2011 meta-analysis looked at 14 separate studies involving identical and non-identical twins, designed to tease apart the relative contribution of genetic and environmental factors in someone developing OCD. Basically, on and off for about 18 months I used a fake profile and face photos from the internet to talk to men on Grindr. Still, this therapist was not an expert in OCD, particularly the more subtle kind I had. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I’m struggling with real event OCD, I have been diagnosed with OCD. Re: Real Event OCD & Guilt by throwaway5487 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:22 pm but did I molest my sibling somehow? Hope this helps somehow x. Treatment for OCD. xmesq. Our relationship has been going brilliantly, and this hadn't bothered me. Another friend told me not to trust her and I was really confused and not sure why, my mental health was already deteriorating at that point (about six months ago). I wanted to be invisible but I also wanted to talk to men (it’s pathetic, I know). I am also a catfish. The nudes I sent were my real ones. 17 May 2016 - 12:37. Thankfully, he didn’t think I’d acted on any of these thoughts, or that I would, or that I was insane. spoiler nsfw. For background, I (M, 27) have struggled with OCD in various forms for the past 10 years, from the more 'magical thinking', to the existential, harm/self-harm, pOCD, hOCD, you name it. So in short, I'm really struggling with this, can anyone relate? Source: http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ On a side note, www.ocdspecialists.com is a great resource for learning about OCD! It’s something you’d rather not deal with, but you would be absolutely fine. However, I unsure how to atone and make up for what I did. I deeply regret that I’ve violated people like this - lying to them and deceiving them, especially because of the sexual nature of the chats. Real event OCD can be insidious because along with anxious thoughts and feelings, it also presents with pervasive feelings of guilt and shame about something which you did in the past. I still sometimes have false memories and panic attacks over whether I cheated in the early stages of my relationship, which sounds like what’s happening. Need others thoughts please . By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. And it's fine to regret it and feel guilt - but if it's this strong, it's OCD. I am going to focus on reducing the significance of this in my mind to help better manage the thoughts and compulsive rumination. When I’ve made previous posts on other subreddits people have told me to forgive myself, that my behaviour wasn’t right but it’s okay to move on and be better in the future. Press J to jump to the feed. One particular event from my past has come back to haunt me big time and I'm back in at the deep end. Your fearful reaction is what powers up these thoughts and makes OCD stronger. We eventually agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend in May 2019. When these intrusive memories come up, you feel a gut-punching sensation of intense guilt. All I ever do anymore is sit around and think about the kind of person I have been. Log in to Reply. :). I was almost blackout drunk, in a nightclub, and have this memory of a few seconds of kissing someone on the dancefloor. Thanks: 8. However we had our first date in June 2018, and spent the best part of a year in the kind of 'casual, not labeling this, taking it slow' kind of stage. When its not Real Event OCD its the What If/Fill in the blanks OCD. I hope you can spare a minute to have a read through this and any help would be much appreciated. PAST REAL EVENT OCD. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! The chats were often sexual, but I never shared any photos or chats with anyone else. To build self-compassion OCD & guilt by throwaway5487 » Wed Apr 19, 11:22! I using OCD as an excuse or do I need punishment and like I don ’ t make a... My head, it 's this strong, it felt quite intimate and I ca n't remember what looked. It ’ s really made me question a lot of things about myself a on. Type of OCD: hit-and-run OCD, particularly the more subtle kind had... Hope of real help for them our Services or clicking I agree, feel! 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